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The Christian Parenting Handbook: 50 Heart-Based Strategies for All the Stages of Your Child's Life, by Scott Turansky, Joanne Miller RN
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Nuggets of parenting wisdom condensed into 50 short chapters, each one biblical, practical, and relevant for parents of children ages 2-18. Learn appropriate ways to correct, instruct, and set limits. Glean wisdom for dealing with emotions, conflict, and developing closeness in your family... and much more. These 50 strategies provide you with hands-on tools for parenting children of any age.
In this book you'll learn how to:
Identify character qualities to address problems
Build internal motivation
Transfer responsibility for change to the child
Teach kids to be solvers instead of whiners
Use creativity to teach your kids spiritual truths
Avoid the "boxing ring"
Envision a positive future
And much more!
With these strategies you'll be able to move from behavior modification to a heart-based approach to parenting. Instead of relying on rewards, incentives, threats, and punishment, you'll learn how to identify heart lessons to teach your child and implement them in practical ways.
The Christian Parenting Handbook by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, founders of the National Center for Biblical Parenting, compiles fifty parenting principles that use heart-based strategies to teach you how to face daily challenges. When parents focus on the heart, kids learn to ask different questions about life. Instead of asking, "What's in it for me?" they learn to ask, "What's the right thing to do?" You'll soon see how a heart-based approach to parenting looks deeper and brings about greater, lasting change.
The daily interaction you have with your children can impact them for the rest of their lives. With these fifty heart-based strategies, you'll develop your own biblical philosophy of parenting and gain perspective, greater motivation, and confidence that you're moving in the right direction. As you envision a positive future for your children, they'll experience hope and direction and you will too. Start applying these principles today!
- Sales Rank: #146734 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-04-29
- Released on: 2013-04-29
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
Insightful, practical, encouraging, and, as always, focused on reaching a child's heart rather than merely changing behavior. --Karl Bastian, The Kidologist, founder and president of Kidology.org
A must read for all parents no matter what faith or stage of life. This book is chocked full of practical strategies you can implement today! --Eric and Jennifer Garcia, Association of Marriage & Family Ministries
Readers will mine nuggets of silver and gold on every page. I did! --Mark Steiner, President DiscipleLand.com
Whether you have toddlers or teens, the Bible-driven principles in this book have the power to change your family l, for generations to come! --Dr. Rob Rienow, Founder of Visionary Family Ministries
The format of this book provides parents with practical advice I have come to expect from the founders of the National Center for Biblical Parenting. --Kenneth Priest, Team Leader, Leadership Ministries, Southern Baptists of Texas Convention
An artfully concise and biblically deep perspective for parents that dives into mattes of the heart facing every child . . . highly recommended! --Michael Chanley, Executive Director, International Network of Children's Ministry
I will definitely be recommending this book to all the single parent families I work with and to children's ministers who call looking for parenting books. --Linda Ranson Jacobs, DC4K Creator and Ambassador, Single Parenting Expert
Parents learn a biblical approach that aims at shaping the heart of their child rather than only outward actions. This is a handbook--practical and thorough--that will be used throughout the years of parenting! --Dr. Roger Theimer, Children's Pastor and coauthor of Faith Legacy Series
From the Author
This is a book of ideas. As parents, we need all the ideas we can find. Each child is unique, and the same tools don't work with every one. Furthermore, parenting ideas that had an impact last year may need some tweaking, because your child continues to develop and change.
The suggestions in this book will help you be a better parent. But you need more than ideas. In the parenting field, ideas are a dime a dozen. Everyone has an opinion of what's best when it comes to parenting. You probably have more ideas now than you can use. What you want to know is how. I'm sure you'd take a cup of implementation over a bucket of ideas any day. Ideas are easy. Implementation is hard, because that's where things get complicated.
Every child is unique, and every family has its own set of dynamics. Parents are eager to know how to take ideas and put them into practice. In this book we help you with that. But do even more than help you apply the changes. Each chapter in this book can contribute to your biblical philosophy of parenting.
A philosophy is a way of thinking, a framework of ideas and theories. Our goal is to help you develop a biblical structure from which you'll be able to pick and choose from the advice and suggestions you'll receive in order to determine the best strategy for your home.
By weaving together God's Word with practical applications, you'll begin to develop patterns that will make a tremendous difference in your life and the lives of your children. Paul warned in Colossians 2:8, "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ." That warning is important for parents, because our world is full of ideas, and many of them are unhelpful, resting on tradition instead of godliness.
Instead, you can develop a parenting philosophy that's based on a solid theology of God and his plan for life. Some elements of a biblical philosophy of parenting will be the same for every parent. Relying on God's Word as the authority, passing faith from parents to children, and teaching kids to live lives that follow Christ are important in every home.
But many elements of a biblical philosophy of parenting will differ from parent to parent. Some will emphasize a more relational approach, where others are more firm. Some children need more structure than others to move them forward. The formation of a unique, yet biblical approach to parenting provides parents with a way to think and act that's best for their family situation.
The ideas represented in the chapters of this book will guide your thinking. You may choose to emphasize some more than others. Let the Holy Spirit guide you to develop your own unique approach. The common factor is reliance on God's Word for the development of your own philosophy of parenting.
Furthermore, you'll make adjustments along the way as you grow in Christ. In fact, before you get too far into this book, we suggest you create a quick action list, a reminder of what you want to do as you read through the chapters. Alongside your to-do list, though, we hope you'll create a think list, identifying key principles and concepts you'll use to guide your thinking over time. Each item on these lists represents a piece of your strategy, a biblical way of thinking about parenting and working with children. Together they'll help you formulate your own biblical philosophy of parenting.
In essence, you'll develop a mission statement and a vision for your home and for each of your kids. As you consider the principles in this book, you'll find yourself carving out a parenting style. You'll take your personality and allow it to be molded by a biblical framework and a grace-based, heart-based approach to parenting.
In the end you'll find yourself growing faster than you had imagined in your ability to parent effectively. Bear in mind that a heart-based approach to parenting involves strategic thinking, planning, and implementation. An idea is only an idea until it takes wings and flies into your home. It's not enough to have a good idea. You'll want to plan for its implementation as well. That's why many of the chapters contain specific words you may use in your family.
Our desire is to help you transfer good ideas into practical application that shape the way your family relates. As you formulate your own biblical parenting philosophy, please keep these principles in mind:
1. Begin with prayer, and ask your heavenly Father for wisdom, grace, patience, and perseverance. Praise God for progress and glimpses of maturity you see in your child.
2. Build on a biblical foundation. First and foremost, the Bible is the authority. It's amazing how many passages in Scripture apply to the family. Look at the Bible as God's training guide for life, and you'll discover many, many biblical truths that will impact your parenting. Every chapter in this book contains scripture to guide your thinking and mold your ideas.
3. Think long term. Maintain perspective by moving from the small picture to the big picture. Daily interactions are pieces of something much bigger. Misbehavior happens in patterns that reveal issues of the heart. Correcting any one instance can fit into a greater strategy to move kids toward maturity.
4. Remember what's most important. Focus on those things, and leave the rest for another time. To be most strategic in your approach, avoid "reactive parenting."
5. Watch for variations on a theme. It's not just about the moment. It's about life. Many times the challenges you face now fit into the bigger picture of the change that's needed.
6. Focus on the heart. Develop parenting plans that help children overcome internal roadblocks for the long term, not just current behavior problems. More than anything else, we want this book to challenge you to think biblically, assess your situation, make adjustments in your parenting, and help your children move forward.
We've compiled a list of fifty parenting principles that we believe to be the best we've seen over the years. We've worked with thousands of families and taught hundreds of parenting seminars. We've initiated many Bible studies and research projects. We've received tens of thousands of feedback forms. Out of it all, we've found fifty strategies that can make a significant difference.
With the information in this book, we believe you'll be able to develop a personal framework for parenting success. With strategic thinking and planning, you'll face daily challenges with more perspective, greater motivation, and confidence that you're moving in the right direction.
Remember that God is the one who changes hearts, both yours and your child's, so read this book prayerfully, allowing God to speak to you about your relationship with him and what he wants for you and your family.
It's our prayer that you will find hope and wisdom in this book. Parenting is a journey requiring all the wisdom you can get, but having a biblical parenting philosophy in place will help you navigate through the challenges with greater ease and more confidence in God's grace at work in your life.
About the Author
Dr. Scott Turansky and his wife, Carrie, have five children. Josh is married to Melinda and they have three children. Melissa is a registered nurse, married to Peter, and working on two Masters Degrees in New York City. Ben is married to Galan. He is a US Marine stationed in Alabama. Megan and Elizabeth are twins, working full time as pet groomers and living nearby.
Scott has co-authored twelve books on parenting and speaks around the country teaching parenting seminars in churches and schools. He and Joanne use drama, practical stories, and the scriptures to teach biblical principles of parenting.
Joanne Miller, RN, BSN and her husband, Ed, have two grown sons, Dave and Tim. Joanne has been a pediatric nurse since 1986 and is a public speaker. She is a co-author, with Scott of "Parenting is Heart Work," along with several other books on parenting. She delights in helping children change their hearts, not just their behavior.
Dr. Turansky and Mrs. Miller are the co-founders of the National Center for Biblical Parenting, an organization that offers Christian parenting Conferences and biblical parenting resources for churches and individual parents. They also started Biblical Parenting University to provide online biblical training for parents, Sunday School teachers and Christian School teachers.
The Turanskys and the Millers have been in ministry together since 1988. They teach parenting seminars as outreach to the community through churches all over the US. Their books, videos, workbooks, and parent training materials focus on the heart to help children make lasting changes. Using humor, stories, and the scriptures they give parents the practical help they can use right now.
Most helpful customer reviews
18 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent Resource of Practical Biblical Parenting
By MomOf4
When I first saw the image with the caption "If you find yourself nagging your child for the same thing over and over again, or yelling out of sheer exasperation because the same problem continually surfaces, it's definitely time for a different plan." I knew God had pointed me in the right direction. We have been long overdue for a new plan. I love the layout of the book. Short, easy to read and navigate, and always referenced to the Bible. I have seen not only a transformation in my children's heart in the short time we have been implementing these ideas, but also a change in our hearts as parents. I see situations differently, and can truly see my children differently and begin to nurture them to be the young men and women God intended.
16 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
Christian Parenting Handbook The Best Parenting Book I have Read!!
By Nikki Hinkle
I probably have read every parenting guide on the market.
When I was expecting my first child I wanted to learn all that I could
about what was coming. As each child goes through life changes or
"shifts" I like to relook at some parenting techniques. It is helpful to
gather ideas of different ways to parent effectively. There are
so many opinions out there on how you should parent. I take what
I can from each one and apply it to my family. I have not found one
like this one that uses biblical principle. God breathed is the right
breath to take. God's word is the basis of this book that transforms
it into your own parenting philosophy. We can think of our bible
as a training guide for life, so why wouldn't we look to it for our
parenting tips. Christian Parenting Handbook is an excellent
resource to read and then save on your bookshelf for when you
feel you need a parenting brush up. It's a book that will keep giving
back to you over the years.
(Things I learned)
The Heart Concept...
God gave each of our children a heart and within that heart gave people
the ability to choose. When a child makes a wrong choice then that is a
heart issue. We can us behavior modification for a quick answer but it
doesn't change the child's heart. Behavior modification works it's just not
enough. We as parents want that heart change. We want our children to
succeed and not carry their sins through life. We want them to be able to
release and live with a close connection to God.
When I look at my own family the age that always gets me is the middle
schooled age. There is something about that stage that I find difficult.
It's this quiet delicate leaf sitting on a ledge that could go one way or
another later as a teenager. If I push on direction it might be to hard
and if I don't push enough it might not be enough. I want the heart
to overrule and for my children to choose right ,to choose God.
The handbook suggests that heart-based approach. I took the time to
write out the struggles we faced for each of my children at the stage they
are presently in. The Christian parenting handbook gives you suggestions
for doing this. I learned many of the behaviors were associated to something
of the heart that is lacking that we need to work on. Now I can create a
strategy for character development in that particular area. I was given
so many ideas so that I can creatively and effectively teach, train ,
and love my children.
Giving Thanks...
I learned that it is really good to not only thank your children but
to point out when they presented a character quality with a pointed
response. Doing so means that they will begin to develop character
within themselves. I really like that. I like the idea of them creating an
internal voice that is a positive voice.
"Your enjoyment of your kids creates a connectedness that runs deep"
Communication...
Communication is really the key to success with your children.
It is important to take the time to really listen to them, to sit and
allow them to express feelings they may be having. Then guide them
toward a brighter goal in a relaxed conversation. Easier said then done
right? Well yes, but you have options. There are things you can say
and ways to build this relationship between your child and you. I
seriously just wanted to write some of these things on post it
notes and place them strategically around the house for support.
I think the kids would think I have really lost it this time.
Children need that positive affirmation but a genuine one.
Chapter 8's title says it all "Look for Heart Moments." The parenting
handbook points out that often we look for the things that are going
wrong. Taking the time to encourage them on their good days is
much better than continually recognizing the alternate behavior.
That Moment When I understood...
As related to the Bible, I think I finally really get it. I've been studying
the book of Luke verse for verse with Good morning girls and
after reading the Parenting handbook I can correlate the two.
Jesus came into this world to gather hearts. Jesus said his Kingdom
was beginning quietly. Like the tiny mustard seed that grows into an
enormous tree. The Kingdom of God would push outward until the
world was changed. Slowly we can encourage , love, listen and push
outward until the child's heart is changed. You will find some great ideas
to share spiritual family time and I cannot wait to give them a try.
Quick look at Teens....
"Although you've been able to "control" young children, the
Key to teenagers is "influence".
I thought this quote from the book was important to share. I often see
this going on with teens in our church. The more the parent "controls"
the more the child tries to rebel against the rules of the family.
My favorite Chapter...
One of my favorite Chapters is Chapter 15 Teach kids to use
energy to the family. I love how the family is introduced to the word
honor and that word is used through that family's daily life.
I hope to use this concept to create a better system of honor
within our family. My wheels are spinning. Thanks for the great tips!!
Is the Information working for our family...
Using the parenting handbook I was able to take certain situations
in our family and turn them around. One example is our Sunday
mornings. Sad to say but every Sunday morning ends in tears from
someone and a lot of frustration from me. This is a situation that has
become a pattern for our family. As I read I realized this pattern and
was able to make small changes to get our family to Sunday Services
without all the stress, putting everyone in the frame of mind that they
needed to be in. I realized that we weren't all prepared for the morning
rush. I am staff so I'm required to be there by a certain time. This is
difficult with the entire family in tow. I needed to plan a little ahead.
I had to make sure all my lesson and activities for the services were
prepared ahead of time. No more Sunday morning rush to print out
something moments. My youngest son struggled to find his belongings,
so we tried having everyone put their bags and bibles by the door.
He also had issues finding clothes to wear so we laid them out the night
before. I assigned some things to the older children. This all made
our mornings go so much smoother and really I'm not sure why
I didn't figure it out before. I also realized that because of my own stress
of trying to get ready and on time I was ultimately setting up my family
for failure. My expectations of Sunday mornings weren't very high.
I expected the chaos because it had become the norm so my tone
and behavior was also leading the moment. This had to change and
with that knowledge and a plan I was able to feel secure in the moment
and work through any conflict that arose.
I encourage you to take a look at the Christian Parenting Handbook
I have learned so much so far and there is a lot more that
I didn't mention. I may just reread this over the summer breaking
it down into workable steps for my family.
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
Heart-transforming parenting
By Steve
When Joanne and Scott say in the introduction, "You're holding a book of ideas," they aren't kidding! If you're looking for a treasure trove of parenting ideas that goes beyond clever quips and coy research to truly heart transformational truth, you're going to want to pick up this book. As the title says, it's a handbook. You'll want it close by for reference relevant to almost any situation or any question you'll face as a parent.
As a parent, you're also looking for more than a plethora of ideas, you're also looking for an overarching way of thinking that breathes vitality into your family life. Scott and Joanne provide the Biblical foundations that are essential for looking beyond the parenting pressures of day-to-day life and into eternally valuable insights that will sustain and energize your journey.
The authors don't sugar coat their principles or try to make parenting seem easy. They acknowledge the difficulties, but provide more than adequate inspiration to accompany many truths that will equip parents well. They often suggest things that may take a little more work on the surface, but will greatly improve the results and increase the satisfaction and sense of purpose along the way.
Oftentimes, we as parents feel we're constantly in the corrective mode and trying to "get kids to behave." This book offers a refreshing approach that focuses on building relationships, the joy of great character, building on strengths and a life of wisdom leading to success. I feel a sigh of relief coming on and see the sun of hope rising on the horizon!
This book is super-charged with practical and easy to find advice and, more importantly, it is infused with a Christ-focused way of thinking about the parenting journey. It is a proactive versus reactive approach that will empower you to be a great parent.
See all 145 customer reviews...
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